


Feel Real

by lydiamartinfreeman



Series: The Various Scenarios in Which Peter and MJ Share a Bed [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, MJ is a good listener, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protect Peter Parker, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie) Spoilers, Spideychelle, fuck mysterio, i wrote this in the middle of the night and its trash, idk how to tag guys, peter is not okay, slightly OOC, takes place after ffh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 07:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19825552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiamartinfreeman/pseuds/lydiamartinfreeman
Summary: Unable to sleep after what went down in Europe, Peter Parker pays our favorite AcaDec captain a late-night visit.





	Feel Real

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So this is the first fic I've ever been brave enough to publish even though I lowkey hate it but I really wanted to post something so here we are. Anyway, this takes place about a week after the events of FFH (before the swinging date) because you can't convince me that everyone came home and was totally fine. And we're just gonna pretend those mid-credit scenes don't exist because FUCK THAT. Constructive criticism is welcome!! also I need a beta yikes
> 
> @lydiamartinfreeman and @westdegg on tumblr

_Thunk_. 

MJ jumped and shifted her gaze away from her book to peer through her bedroom window, squinting at the white webs she found stuck to the glass. She exhaled. Moments later, a familiar red spandex-clad figure appeared on her fire escape, having swung over from god-knows-where. With a sigh, she closed her copy of The Bell Jar, staring at the boy standing her room’s length away, waiting for any sort of sign that she was experiencing a sleep deprivation-fueled hallucination. He simply stood, watching her, hands clasped in front of him. Satisfied that this was, in fact, real, MJ stood and padded across soft carpet to unlock her window and let him in. Sylvia Plath would have to wait, it seemed. She stood back as he contorted his way into her room, too tired and confused to be amused as he nearly face planted. MJ quickly turned her head to her left, focusing on the glaring red light of the alarm clock sitting on her nightstand. _2:07 AM_. By the time she had turned back, he had righted himself, mask limp in his right hand, eyes burning a hole into the strip of floor that lay between their feet. 

“Peter.”

His chin lifted, swallowing, eyes still refusing to meet hers. It was then that she finally took him in, taking note of the darkness beneath his eyes, his paleness, and his disheveled hair. One of his curls had slumped over his forehead, and she swallowed the urge to smooth it away from his face. Sighing again, she took a small step towards him, and finally, his eyes met hers. 

“What are you doing here, Peter?” she asked, voice laced with concern.

His Adam's apple bobbed, and she could practically feel his discomfort. After a few more seconds of silence, he spoke. 

“I couldn’t sleep. Well, I did sleep – I always do, but I didn’t stay asleep. Obviously. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here–” he closed his eyes, “but I am. I-I shouldn’t be here. I’m sorry MJ.” 

He turned to leave, but she quickly grabbed his hand, ignoring how the warmth of his skin seeped through his suit, burning her fingers. His eyes snapped up to hers, questioning. Slowly, she walked them backwards until the backs of her knees bumped into the side of her bed, gently perching on the edge. Letting go of his hand, she motioned for him to do the same, so they could sit side by side. Flashing back to the shared three kisses between them from London, MJ tried not to flush at the fact that they were now in her room. In the middle of the night. Alone (her mom was on a business trip). On her bed. She wanted to kick her brain, promptly reminding herself that nothing had happened between them after the fact; they had barely even exchanged words in the week that had passed, stuck in an awkward limbo of confusion and emotions and, well, awkwardness. She now wanted to kick her brain even more, realizing that she had just been absorbed in her own head for five minutes, as Peter stared at her in a daze. She refocused, shifting to fully sit on her bed, legs criss crossed, giving Peter an expectant look. Turning to face her, he took her silent cue to continue his explanation. 

“He killed you. Mysterio. At least I thought he did.” 

Her brows furrowed at his admission. He hadn’t spoken to her or Ned about what had actually happened to him between Prague and London. 

“He used his holograms. He threw you over the edge of the Eiffel Tower. I had this whole plan of how I was going to give you the necklace and- and how I was going to tell you how I felt about you. I was going to do it at the top of the Eiffel Tower when we got to Paris.” he sucked in a deep breath as she released a shaky one. “I dove after you, but it wasn’t real. Of course it wasn’t real. He used Mr. Stark against me too. I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. I didn’t trust anyone I saw after that. Not even Happy when he saved me.” 

Her eyes widened at this, shocked. She didn’t know what to say, simply reaching over to lace her fingers with this, nervously glancing at him to see if it was okay, exhaling when he gave her a small nod.

“I know he’s gone. EDITH told me he was. But I still feel like he’s here, following me wherever I go. Like everything I do or see isn’t real. Sometimes I don’t even know if I’m awake or asleep. He made everything seem so real.” he paused. “Ever since we got back, I’ve had nightmares. Really bad ones.” he squeezed his eyes shut, as if they were being displayed in front of him and he didn’t want to look. 

Without thinking, MJ gently freed her right hand from his, opting to cradle his cheek with it instead. He placed his gloved hand over hers, leaning into her palm. Something in her chest fluttered at the motion. She didn’t know what it was about him that made her trust him the way she did, that made her as vulnerable around him as she was. All she knew was that it made her pulse race, and her body glow with warmth. 

“Every time I close my eyes, I see him taking everyone I love away from me.” 

A single tear rolled down his cheek as he opened his eyes, and her heart broke just a little bit as she brushed it away with the pad of her thumb. 

“Tonight, I saw him take you. I woke up and- and I panicked...I didn’t know what to do or where to go, but I knew I had to do something; anything. I had to make sure you were okay...and then I was here.”

Gingerly, MJ removed their hands from his cheek, gripping his wrist, and bringing it to the side of her neck. He sucked in a sharp breath as she pressed his fingers against her pulse, trying not to shiver at the intimacy of her own gesture. 

“I’m here Peter. I’m alive. _I’m real_.” 

“I know.” He whispered. 

He brushed his thumb down the center of her throat, watching with fascination as goosebumps erupted over the sensitive skin in its wake. 

“I’m so tired, MJ. I just wanted to be a normal sixteen year old kid during our damn trip. I wanted to be able to spend it with the girl I like and my best friend. I want to be able to get through one night of peaceful sleep.” 

Her hand slipped away from his fingers, where they still lay against her pulse, to hold onto his wrist. 

“I know. I wanted that too. I _want_ that too. I don’t want to spend another night lying awake.” 

Sliding closer, she pressed her forehead against his. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She gave him an almost undetectable smile. 

“No. I want to sleep. Let’s go to sleep, Peter.” 

She felt the breath of his exhale fan against her face.

“Okay” he replied, the corners of his mouth lifting. 

So she took his hand once again, standing, waiting for him to follow.

The tension in the room had dissipated, leaving a lighter mood between the two. 

“I hope you’re not planning on sleeping in the onesie, Parker.” she said, and he gave her a small, goofy smile. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” he quipped back, bringing their joined hands to the center of his chest and pressing. His suit slackened, dropping to the floor with a small thump. Hand still held to his chest, now bare, MJ flushed and tried to keep her eyes trained on anything that wasn’t Peter’s body. Just as she had in the hotel room as he was changing into his stealth suit, she failed. Peter smirked at the shared memory, and her flush deepened. He looked just as he had then, all pale smooth skin and defined muscles. MJ chided herself, reminding herself of who she was and how she wasn’t supposed to get flustered by anything, least of all a boy. Yet here she was. Peter released her hand and she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, already missing the feeling of his warm skin beneath her fingertips. He stepped back, clad only in his boxers, picking up his suit and mask, placing them on her desk. “So uh” she paused. “Is that what you’re gonna wear to bed?” 

Leaning against the desk with slightly raised eyebrows, Peter replied “Well yeah. I don’t exactly have other clothes with me. Unless you have anything I could borrow?” 

MJ pressed her lips together, and shook her head.

“Um, so...” Peter fidgeted. “How do you want to do this? You could take the bed and I could take the floor, all I’d need is a pillow and blanket. Or I could take the couch in the living room, whichever works for you-” 

“Peter. We can share the bed. There’s plenty of space.” 

Now it was Peter’s turn to blush as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“No! I mean, it’s totally fine. We don’t have to do that- you don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine wherever or I could just-” 

“Peter! Get in the damn bed. Neither of us has slept properly in days and we need the comfort of a proper bed.”

“Are you sure?” 

After crawling under the covers, leaning on an elbow, MJ lifted the opposite corner of the duvet in response, nodding. Slowly, he approached, almost as if he was waiting for the whole scenario to be a trap. Peter slid into the bed next to her, still unsure, but when MJ made no effort to push him away, he relaxed, settling on his right side to face her. He dropped the arm that wasn’t acting as his pillow to the space between them, so that his hand was just close enough to hers that their pinkies were touching. 

“MJ?” Peter breathed out.

“Yeah?” 

“I just wanted you to know that I-I meant what I said. In London I mean. On the bridge.” She smiled and curled her pinky over his. “I’m sorry that we haven’t talked...I wasn’t trying to ignore you o-or anything, I mean I don’t think I’d be able to even if I wanted to...So thanks” He took a deep breath. “Thanks for giving me space when I needed it.”

“I meant it too, dork.” MJ answered, fully lacing their fingers together. 

Peter lit up with a face splitting grin. As his thumb started to circle over the back of her hand, MJ felt like her entire body was buzzing, her heart trying to leap its way out of her chest. “Would you um- maybe wannagetdinnerwithme? Tomorrow?” He slurred out, cheeks flaming. “Or we could, like, see a movie? Or go to that bookstore you like?” 

Making a split-second decision, MJ just pressed her lips to his. The kiss was short and sweet, but it was enough for them. Pulling back, she let out a small laugh at his dumbstruck expression, nuzzling her nose against his. 

“Yes, I’ll go out with you, loser. Now can we _please_ go to sleep?” She mocked. 

“Y-Yup. Yes. Okay. Yes we can. Definitely. We can definitely go to sleep now.” Peter babbled out, not quite having processed the fact that the girl he’d liked for so long had kissed him, and had agreed to go out on _a date_. With _him_.

MJ brought their joined hands to wrap around her middle as she turned onto her other side, content. Suddenly, Peter pulled her back against his chest, grinning at her wide eyes. He tightened his arm around her even more, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck, chuckling when she let out a surprised squeak. At the sensation of his breath hitting the skin just beneath the corner of her jaw, MJ shivered and sighed as he pressed a kiss to the skin there. If Peter could sense her elevated heartbeat and the goosebumps breaking out across her skin, he didn’t show it. She snuggled against him, absorbing the warmth radiating from his bare skin. He dropped another kiss onto her shoulder as she closed her eyes, fully relaxing at the soothing sound of his breaths and the steady pound of his heartbeat against her back. As Peter heard MJ’s breaths even out, Peter finally let go and let sleep pull him under, a small smile pulling at his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! I hope you guys enjoyed this (please let me know if you did)!! I'm thinking of making this part of a series of times that these two dorks share a bed, all unrelated to each other. Also if you're down to be my beta (or wanna be friends!!) please hmu on my tumblr :)


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